Navigating Denial: Strategies to Turn Rejection into Personal Growth

Denials hurt bad. We’ve all experience them- those painful moments of rejection, being told no, a partner leaving us, or a truth we don’t want to hear.  Specially if we are counting on something to come through, we see it as our way out, our salvation. We focus on this solution, we narrow our vision, and when the denial comes in, we are shattered.

It can feel we are left with nothing but shattered hopes and dreams. Rejection is crushing. We can feel depleted of energy. The zest for life leaves us. Being dumped by a partner or getting a no from an institution is heartbreaking. But what we do with rejection, will define our future. We can decide to use it to our advantage and grow from the no.

In fact, rejection, what we see as failure, can serve as important lessons to propel us forward. We can grow from the no, as disheartening as that no seems initially. Mind you, this is no easy task. It’s important to acknowledge the pain, and then embrace a teachable moment as a result from it.

To turn denial into our advantage we first need to adopt a mindset of resilience, humility, and curiosity. It’s possible to grow from denial if we pick ourselves up and use it as a motivator. It can take us on a path of self-reflection, and self-growth. Denials will force us to expand our focus and see other routes to get to our goals. It can lead us to discover opportunities that we were not able to see before.

The rejection happened because we’re not ready for that scenario. It’s essential we accept certain things are not meant for us, or not yet. If we didn’t get what we wanted is because the universe wants to offer us something better, something we did not imagine.

Embrace Denial

Dealing with denial is difficult. Don’t underestimate the effect it has on the psyche. It is important to remember the rejection does not define your self-worth. Denials are part of life; we need the lows to have the highs. Allow yourself to feel the emotions of disappointment. It’s like mourning a loss, we need to allow ourselves to feel.

Think of what’s making you hurt, accept the emotions it brings so you can grow from the no and think creatively of ways to get to where you want to go. This is where growth begins, embrace the attitude of being a fighter.

Rejection: Steppingstones to Success

After feeling the sorrow from rejection, it’s time to use it as a steppingstone to success. Evaluate what happened, self-reflection. Was it an under qualification? Skills, experience? If the denial came from an institution, reach out to them to get feedback. This will help you understand how you can position yourself better in the future.

How we handle rejection makes all the difference to our path to success. By reframing rejection into opportunities, is how we grow from them. They become learning lessons and the steppingstones to create something better. Ask yourself what’s the purpose in this rejection? How can I turn it into an opportunity?

Light Your Fire, Practice Self Care

Rejection can overwhelm us with sadness. We can feel less than. Like we are not good enough. Stop here and push those thoughts aside. It’s normal to feel this way but to turn denials into opportunities, you need to adopt a growth mindset.  To grow from the no, you need resilience. Ok, so you need to get out of the low. The key is to practice self-care.

We all need a designated time to take care of ourselves. We have a light in us we need to light, daily, a constant burning. If we don’t light our fire, we will sink into depression, or we will not be inspired to achieve our goal.

Self-care come in many forms; people have different taste and preferences. What poetry does for one, meditation does for another, or exercise is for a third. Movement is essential to move the still energy. I love getting out for a light run while I listen to a Tim Ferris podcast to motivate me. The key is to instill motivation.

Denials suck. But they are part of life. Receiving that denial is not what will define you, it’s what you do with that denial. It’s possible to turn rejection into steppingstones for growth. It starts with adopting a mindset and an attitude to grow from them. It’s imperative you stay persistent with the end goal. Focus on the goal, not on how you are getting there. Ways will open. Denials are painful, they can also be great catalyst to personal growth. Go on and fail. As they say, “try again. Fail again. fail better”.